Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want her autograph on my taint
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
