your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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