I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
