I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
