we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
