Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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