Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
