had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
