If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
