I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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