do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
