Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
