best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's never too late to be topless.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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