your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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