if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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