you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
