it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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