Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
