STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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