Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
