Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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