if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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