she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize