Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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