Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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