Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
