I'm lost and stupid without you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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