Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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