i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
