I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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