can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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