the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
