meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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