I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
