Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
