Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
