I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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