i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
