Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
