No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
