You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
