about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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