So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
