If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
