I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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