Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
