Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
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