This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
