My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
