dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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