He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
