just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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