Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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