i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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