Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
