Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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