And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
