I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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