you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am midnight drunk by noon
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
