I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
