you told grandpa to call you daddy
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
