have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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