what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
