You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
