you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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