are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
COCAINE IS GR8
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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